Actions Communicate!
By Walter Boomsma
207 343-1842
Communications Director
Actions speak louder than words, and often communicate messages that words simply cannot. Showing someone you care is one of the best ways to demonstrate your feelings.
A simple act of kindness, such as a hug, can communicate love, appreciation, and understanding. It can also show others we care about their feelings and value them as individuals. Similarly, body language is also a powerful method of communicating. Making eye contact, replicating postures and gestures, and body movements such as crossing your arms can say a lot about how someone is feeling or what they are thinking. Ultimately, actions can be a more powerful form of communication than words alone.
But, like words, actions are subject to misinterpretation. Thanks in a large part to COVID, Touching and physical proximity are being questioned and challenged. The handshake was originally about open, weaponless hands and grasping each other in a ritual of mutuality. There are now those who think the ritual should be abandoned in the interest of public health. You’ll know you’ve met one when they cringe in horror and disapproval at the extension of your proffered hand.
Which side of that particular debate you are on is less significant than the recognition that there is a debate. “One man’s pleasure is another man’s pain.” Not everyone wants to be touched. But some of us do want to make that contact and connection. Another way of looking at this is with the consideration that what we’ve always accepted as a “universal language” may no longer be so universal.
So we hopefully become much more aware of our own behavior and what it might be communicating. We also try to become more aware of others’ potential understanding (or misunderstanding) of that behavior.
If you haven’t yet seen it, there’s an interesting parallel for the Grange. Many of our practices we see as protecting and even increasing the fraternal nature that has served us well. But how do others see it? We sometimes lose our balance. What we see as “fraternal” others may see as exclusionary.
Car buying was different some years ago. I recall one particularly difficult negotiation. The salesman was dutifully doing the “let me see if my manager will approve… just initial here to demonstrate your sincerity.” The poor guy was actually sweating from the numerous trips he made to the back office. After one, he said, “Well, at least you can see how hard I’m working for you” I rather directly corrected him. “What I can see is that every time you say it’s the best deal, it isn’t. Here’s what I want. If you come back with a counteroffer, I’ll just leave so we both stop wasting time.” That’s exactly what happened. I stood up, shook his hand, and walked out the door. Actions communicate. The salesman ended up chasing me through the parking lot to announce that the sales manager had finally agreed. Sometimes you have to cut through the ritual to get the result. The next time I bought a vehicle there, things went much more smoothly.
Does what we do as an organization (or individual) communicate what we say we believe and value? Or, if we can step outside of ourselves and our world, do others see what we believe and value in the things we do and don’t do? It’s a question we need to be asking.
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