Category: Web Site Information

How Important Am I?

By Walter Boomsma
207 343-1842
Communications Director

As most know, earlier this year, I accepted a position teaching at Beal University. It’s been a learning experience. Since most students I work with ultimately plan a future involving substance abuse counseling, communication becomes a topic or concern in many different ways. Communication between counselor and client tends to be an underlying theme in every course. We talk about “empathy” and “understanding” a lot. I often remind students to “listen for what is not being said.”

Thanks to a website dedicated to humor for those in education, I found a funny example. It is an alleged voicemail a doctor left for a patient.

“Because I am literally stuck in traffic at this very moment, I will not be able to perform your heart surgery this morning. Would it be possible to get an extension? Let me know.”

At first, it sounds far-fetched, but an element of humor is overstatement. For anyone who’s ever been a teacher, it’s right up there with “the dog ate my homework.” The modern version might be (and I get this one at least once almost every week), “The computer ate my homework.” My favorite one at the university level was, “I’m sorry this is late. I had to go grocery shopping.”

Let me share something I saw happen recently in the waiting room of a medical provider. A mom arrived with her son, who was probably seven or eight years old. She asked the receptionist, “Do I have to go in with him for the exam? I have a meeting I need to attend on my phone.” The boy had a sort of “disconnected” look and stared around the room. For some reason, he didn’t have a phone or electronic device. On that point, I was happy for him. But I did want to go over and smack his mother. She had just announced to him and anyone within earshot that he had just fallen to the bottom of her priority list.

And here’s the irony. It didn’t have to be that way. She could have used different words to accomplish the same end. She could have said something like, “My son and I have agreed he’s going to try to do this on his own today. I’ll be right here in the waiting room if I’m needed.” (I’m assuming that wouldn’t have been a lie.) Instead, she used words that communicated how busy she was and that her son was momentarily at least at the bottom of her priority list. She also announced to the receptionist that she was a very busy person trying to juggle a lot of different things. I wanted to observe loudly, “And not doing a very good job of it.” I also wanted to go over and hug the kid while saying to the mom, “It’s not about you.” If you listened to the conversation objectively, she was making her son’s appointment all about her.

I confess a bias where kids are concerned, but I have another bias. Being “busy” doesn’t earn us a badge and trophy or get us off the hook for our decisions. Communication still involves at least two parties. Don’t blame it on being busy if you don’t answer an email or return a phone call. You could say, “I’m not good at planning and decision-making,” or maybe even, “Getting back to you just wasn’t that important to me.”

Am I being harsh? I tell students I understand that “life happens,” and sometimes even the best plans are disrupted. But if you tell me your assignment is late because you had to go grocery shopping, I will not likely forgive the late penalty. Contrary to how we often act, we get to decide what’s important and act accordingly. The piece that’s easy to forget is the other party also gets to decide what that means and how they will respond.

Communication is about the words, how they are said, and the actions (or lack of actions) often accompany them. Choose them carefully, remembering the receiver (listener) decides your priorities based on all three.

► FACT: So far this year, the MSG website was viewed over 8,000 times by over 3,400 people. The two most visited items were the Directory of Granges and the Program Books and Information Page.

Are you giving out or getting through?

By Walter Boomsma
207 343-1842
Communications Director

Someone should do a study to answer this question: How much genuine communication takes place on social media? Stay with me—it’s an important question that actually isn’t limited to social media.

There’s a quotation from Sidney Harris on the masthead of the Bulletin. The two words’ information’ and ‘communication’ are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things. Information is giving out; communication is getting through.” If you have read the Bulletin and didn’t notice it, we’re not getting through. That shouldn’t be a surprise. One-way communication has its drawbacks. And, as a society, we are increasingly relying on one-way communication, whether we realize it or not.

I had an exasperating exchange on Facebook recently. I won’t bore you with the details as interesting as they might be. I was answering a writer’s question. Another person almost immediately jumped on me, “correcting” me. I responded to his comment by pointing out that I did not say (write) what he was criticizing me for, hoping he would see we weren’t communicating. He then proceeded to take a slightly different approach to telling me I was wrong anyway. I did not respond further and attempted to see some humor in it. Part of the humor was that the person who originally asked the question didn’t take part in the exchange.

My attacker had no desire to communicate. He was more interested in demonstrating how smart he was. He went off-topic, particularly when I challenged his understanding of what I’d written.

How often does that happen in our conversations? Are we giving out or getting through? We all want to be heard, and that’s not a bad thing. But we should be equally interested in being understood and at least mildly interested in our listeners. That’s much simpler to achieve in “live” in-person conversation. But it’s only easier if both parties are committed to communicating to create understanding.

A down-to-earth technique is called “clarifying and confirming.” It’s based on the assumption we should understand both what the other person is saying and why they are saying it.

“I love ice cream,” seems like a clear statement, at least as far as what is being said. If we want to understand, let’s be a little curious and ask (clarify) why the person loves ice cream. “Because it tastes good.” How’s our understanding? We won’t know for sure until we confirm it. “So what you’re saying is that you like ice cream because it tastes good.” That just might trigger more information. “Yeah, and I feel like I’m getting a treat…”

This becomes particularly important when our initial reaction to someone’s statement is to reject, ignore or disagree. How we react determines what happens next. A knee-jerk reaction may mean the conversation ends or develops into an argument. The few minutes required to demonstrate a desire to communicate by clarifying and confirming are well worth the effort. If you confirm that you are in total disagreement, understanding the “what and why” equips you to remain friends and perhaps even find a middle ground or compromise.

► FACT: Last week, the MSG website was viewed 328 times. The two most visited items were the Directory of Granges and the Mill Stream Grange post.

Let’s Have a Grand Grange Gathering

By Walter Boomsma
207 343-1842
Communications Director

“Train With Hazardous Materials Derails in Rural Maine “ was a recent headline in a mainstream media outlet. Since a small forest fire developed, the Maine Forest Service was involved. A subsequent report by the Maine Department of Agriculture, Conservation, and Forestry included this statement, “Additional rail cars transporting hazardous materials did not derail.”

There might be a lesson in communication here. Or at least in journalism. The media headline is not inaccurate and will pass the fact-checkers. Is it a “good” headline?

A headline is, according to Wikipedia, “the text indicating the content or nature of the article below it.” There’s actually a bit of science involved that includes grammatical rules. No, we’re not going down that path, interesting as it might be.

Headlines became commonly used in the late 19^th Century as competition between newspapers increased. Thus, they became “attention-getting devices.” When people stood at the newsstand, they picked up the paper with the most interesting headline. As readers paged through the purchased copy, they often decided which articles to read based on the headline.

In the electronic world, we use the term “click-bait” to describe a headline that captures interest to the point we click a link, often to be disappointed. As a writer, I find it disappointing that we aren’t having more conversations about the ethics of headline writing. I’m willing to concede that there’s a difference between writing a  headline for an advertisement versus a news story. An online ad recently offered “Save a Life—Free CPR training.” To their credit, in the fine print, they disclosed a fee for the certificate or completion. Much like the news example, the headline was not inaccurate. A number of folks took them to task for what they considered “misleading.” It might be a shame that we aren’t taking the media to task for some of the headlines they write. “The Training Is Free. The Certificate Is Not,” might have been more accurate, but a lot less attention-getting.

I’ve been tempted to create a lecturer’s program that would involve critiquing current headlines using some sort of accuracy scale. The program might be more about critical thinking than headlines.

When we send Grange news and program information to media outlets, we certainly don’t want to be misleading. But I think most would agree we can and should be more “attention-getting.” It may not be easy because you’re forced to really think about why someone should read your story or come to your event. A good day for a reporter includes a report where the headline just writes itself, but it rarely happens. One of my memorable ones happened when I was writing a press release announcing a local school concert. “Kids Raise Voices and Lift Spirits.”

One way to improve our headlining ability is to read other headlines critically. Be especially alert to headlines that might be adaptable to the news and events you are trying to promote. I love alliterations—they tend to “stick” in people’s minds. Let’s have a Grand Grange Gathering!

► FACT: Your MSG website was viewed over 1,500 times during March 2023–if you aren’t submitting your events and news, you are missing an opportunity!

Which Half Are You in?

By Walter Boomsma
207 343-1842
Communications Director

“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say keep on saying it.”

Attributed to Robert Frost

While I’m a big fan of Robert Frost, if he said this, I’m not sure I totally agree—it’s too arbitrary. There’s a third group who have something to say and can say it reasonably well. Unfortunately, it’s a small group.

In the interest of over-complicating this, it also depends on how we define “say” and “saying.” How about “Half the world is composed of people who have something to communicate and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to communicate keep communicating.

With that change, we can note that communication takes place in four basic forms: verbal, non-verbal, written, and visual. A case can be made that listening is a fourth form, but we are trying to keep this simple.

As most of you know, I recently accepted a position as an adjunct instructor at Beal University. I was warned that I would likely be surprised and disappointed by the writing skills of most of my students. I thought I was prepared. I was not.

One of the things I was not prepared for is that many students do not accept the need (or opportunity) for good written communication skills. An even bigger surprise was that most are unaware of the tools and technology available that can help us with writing.

We could have a long and interesting discussion about the future of communication. For example, AI (artificial intelligence) now exists, making it possible to let “the computer” do the actual writing. Part of our discussion would include whether or not that technology diminishes the need to learn the rules of grammar.

Let’s get very practical. Thinking about your Grange and Grange membership, do you have something to communicate? Understand that “you” can mean “you as an individual,” but it can also mean “you as a Grange.”

When my students have a paper to write, it’s usually apparent whether or not they have something to communicate. If so, helping them find ways to say it can be fun, even if challenging. If they don’t have something to say, it doesn’t matter if they can write or speak well. Developing skills becomes somewhat pointless and feels empty without a use for them. That’s why we give assignments. “Write a 500-word essay explaining…”

If we want our Grange to be vibrant and growing, we’d better have a lot to say. “No report” isn’t, by the way, grammatically correct. At a minimum, it should be, “I have no report.” Occasionally, I hear, “I have nothing to report.” That’s also grammatically correct. Are you beginning to see that “no report” is not too far from “I have nothing to say?”

• Why should I consider joining your Grange? “I have nothing to say.”
• What are some of your future programs? “No report.”
• What community services are you offering? “Nothing to report.”

If an assignment would help, here’s one for your Grange. “Write a 250 word description of at least three things your Grange is doing well.” (For reference purposes, that’s less than half the length of this column.) Submit it to the website for publication. Failure to submit (“no report”) results in a zero (F). If you need some help, contact…

Wouldn’t it be interesting to make that a formal program? Assignments carry a deadline after which we’d publish grades—if only as pass/fail.

In college, completing assignments competently ultimately means receiving a degree. In the Grange, completing this assignment  (and some others) means keeping and maybe even growing the Grange. Failure in college means no degree. Failure in the Grange means no Grange.

► FACT: Your MSG website was viewed over 1600 times during January 2023–if you aren’t submitting your events and news, you are missing an opportunity!